Your Healthy Living Blueprint

Coach Jen’s new book is available now on Amazon.

You already know you need to grab hold of your health if you want to feel vibrant and have enough energy to keep up with your kids, career, and life in general - but where do you begin? Getting started on any journey is often the hardest part. That’s why my book, Gettin’ Fit, Learnin’ Sh*t (About Myself and Life): A Beginners Guide to an Active Lifestyle, For Life!” is so close to my heart.

Whether you are new to fitness or getting back into it after a long hiatus, this book is for you. I walk beside you as you establish new routines, habits, and foundations. You’ll uncover your true motivation, learn about the warrior mindset needed for the long game, and tools to keep you consistent and focused.

Throughout the book, I share stories of my past and present, and how - despite her unhealthy roots, insecurities, and inner demons - I found salvation, and myself, through physical activity. Half self-help book, half memoir, “Getting’ Fit, Learnin’ Sh*t” will help readers gain simple, yet powerful, action steps to starting a shiny new healthy lifestyle, and keep it for life from a down-to-Earth mama finding her way in the world.

It is available on Amazon here or free with any coaching program. Check it out!

The Comparison Trap: Don’t Let it Diminish Your Well-Being

“Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.”

— Jordan Peterson

Comparison is a self-esteem killer and the self-talk that follows is usually very critical and negative. It erodes the value we hold of ourselves.

According to research by the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, comparative thought accounts for 12% of all thoughts. And it is so easy to get caught up comparing yourself to others – whether it is in their appearance or in the progress and success you see others achieve.

The gym, for example, is a place where physical ability and appearance are on display the most. However, comparing your skills with someone who is more advanced than you or wishing for another’s six-pack abs is a quick way to lose your way on your own path in life.

Stay in your own lane

Because the hard work and time successful people put in are usually behind the scenes, all we see are the results of their labor. Their blood, sweat, tears, and self-discipline are hidden from our view. Think about (and appreciate) the work it took for that person to get the skill or physique you desire. Then ask yourself: What can I do to work towards getting the results I want?

“Always remember, the goals that we have achieved pale in comparison to the daily commitments it took to get there.”

— Coach Dabo Swinney

There are a lot of people out there wanting to go to the gym or to go for a run in the park, but they are afraid of what others may think of them. They are comparing themselves to the people around them. Don’t let comparison stunt your personal growth. Lace-up, put on some headphones, and do your thing! Gain confidence by bringing a buddy, asking a trainer to show you around the gym, or going when there are not a lot of people. Little by little, your confidence will improve, and you won’t care who sees you.

This applies to all areas of life. Make the time to study or practice your craft more; brainstorm new ways to be creative; challenge yourself to take more risks. When your confidence is up, comparison will subside.

Theodore Roosevelt is famously quoted as saying, “comparison is the thief of joy.” If you are happy doing what you’re doing, the worst thing you can do is stop and look at what the other person is doing.

When used in a healthy way, comparison can boost you in the right direction when you are looking to make a change in your life. Here’s what I mean: The most productive way of comparing yourself to others is by asking yourself:

• How much work am I putting in to get the results I seek?

• What are their habits and routines?

• Who do they spend their time around?

• How do they spend their time?

• What are they doing differently that I can incorporate into my own life?

Use the person you are comparing yourself to as a gauge to see where you need to improve – but then move on.

Photo: Szabolcs Toth via Unsplash.com

You vs. You

When it comes down to it, you are your only competition in this life. Who you were 10 years ago, one week ago, or one day ago is who you should measure yourself against today. Ask yourself:

• How have I grown?

• How did I improve?

• How did I fail?

• Am I proud of who I am today?

• Whose lives have I touched?

Let it go

No matter how successful you are, there will always be someone more successful. Measuring yourself up with others is not a productive use of time. When you feel yourself going into comparison mode, redirect your thoughts. Take a deep breath and think of how far you have progressed in life and what you are most thankful for. Also, instead of comparing, try connecting to the person. Ask them how they got where they are. Maybe they can help you achieve your aspirations.

If you fear others are comparing their lives to yours, please remember that people are so involved in their own lives and in the middle of their own “stuff” that you are not even on their radar, so don’t let them be on your radar. The time you waste comparing your life to others can be used to pinpoint and honor where you are at and focus on going where you want in life. No grown adult should ever look down on someone else because they are not at the same level – or the same chapter – as they are. If they do, that is a testimony to their flawed character, not to you.

Be the Guardian of Your Good Vibes

Whether it’s positive or negative, high or low, other people’s energy has a way of finding ours. If we’re not careful, someone else’s vibes can become our own. This wouldn’t be cause for alarm if the person’s energy is light and joyous and they tend to spread their infectious laughter to everyone around them. But take heed to those who are energy zappers, and to those who have plenty of heavy negative juju to give out.

Those who give off bad energy tend to be highly critical of others and complain often. They’re likely to be stressed out and anxious and speak negatively about themselves. What if their energy:

• Drains your energy level;

• Changes your good energy into bad energy; or

• Hijacks your mojo leaving you unmotivated?

It is our job to be mindful of our own energy and protect it when necessary. To give in to someone else’s energy is to give up power and control over ourselves. We must steer clear of this toxic individual – literally keep your distance – whenever possible. Practice creating boundaries for those who make you feel drained, heavy-hearted, and negative. Also, lower your expectations. We should not expect a kind word or gesture from those who repeatedly prove they are “energy vampires.”

Get around those who make you feel good and light and energetic. Those who make you comfortable in their presence, where you find yourself smiling often.

What if YOU are giving off bad vibes?

Remember: your thoughts and feelings can affect those around you. If you feel you are the negative one in the room, this can mean you’re:

• not moving your body enough;

• not doing what fulfills you;

• around the wrong people;

• not fueling your body properly;

• in need of a rest; or

• not controlling your self-talk.

Photo: Victor via Unsplash.com

Rest and recharge your body

Like a battery, the body and mind need to recharge. Adding a meditation practice into your week or whenever you feel drained may clear your mind and recharge your battery. Quality sleep, between 7-9 hours, is a must so you can protect your energy during the day. Be mindful of the amount of screen time you are getting during the day, and especially at night so you can get a good rest.

Social media, TV, and video games are all quick ways to zap up your energy and throw off your circadian rhythm at night so unplug before bedtime. (Furthermore, Harvard Health Publishing reports that exposure to light at nighttime “may contribute to the causation of cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and obesity.”)

Trust your gut

Some people are more sensitive than others when it comes to “picking up a vibe” from other people. I have always been able to feel another’s energy from what seems like a mile away. I feel a pang in my gut and a dark cloud wash over my spirit when I am around someone with a negative pull. I feel warm and at at-ease when someone with positive energy is near. Sometimes the best thing to do is trust your gut and stay away from potential energy drainers, whether it’s a person or activity.

What’s worth your energy?

In Trent Shelton’s Straight Up podcast episode #98 he says: “energy is expensive and in 2022, we ain’t giving none of that away for free.”

Oftentimes, the source of negative energy comes from something, not someone. Just as you should be the guardian of your good vibes around people, you also have to guard yourself against activities and opportunities that could potentially become a drain on your life and in your soul.

Shelton advises us to get clear on what’s worth our energy.

Is that opportunity really worth your energy? Does it light you up? Or will it be another dreaded task on your to-do list? Don’t give away your energy to just anything or anyone.

“If it ain’t a hell yea for me, it’s a hell no,” he said.

So think twice before saying yes. Careful consideration must be given to whether an extra project at work is truly worth the energy.

In what ways are you going to be the guardian of your good vibes today? Send me an email: itstartswithheartwellness@gmail.com.

Say Goodbye to 2023: Time to Review Your Year and Plan for the Next

Hello friends!

We are at the final stretch of 2023. Now is the time to look back on the year and process all that has happened – the good, the bad, the challenges and losses, the unexpected twists and turns of life – and formulate a plan for the new year ahead.

The trick is to do this now, do not wait until January 1. Let’s enter the new year with a plan of action in place. If 2023 didn’t go as expected, please consider this your chance to wipe the slate clean and create a new plan of attack for 2024.

As I look back on 2023, I can honestly say that I am proud of myself. I accomplished many things that I set out to do, and I know I grew as a person.

The forward momentum I’m riding is not a comfortable one. I consider the past three months to be my “growing pain” period. Time has slowed and there are times when I can’t make sense of my schedule or priorities. Also, with school in session, my “mom mode” has been fully activated, making life more interesting.  

Thinking back on all that has happened this year, it makes sense that I need this adjustment time. When your life changes in any way, it seems to always be followed by an adjustment period where things are not flowing smoothly, and everything seems a bit off and clunky. Instead of getting frustrated, it’s better to accept it as you continue to work through the new changes in your life and trust it will not always be difficult. This feeling of discomfort is not a reason to revert to the old way of doing things.

As I wrote in my previous blog, be sure to hold space for gratitude. Allowing gratitude into our hearts can alleviate our stress and anxiety. Write down what you are grateful for in your life, no matter how obvious it may seem.

Set aside some time to review your year:

·        What are you most proud of?

·        What actions did you take to be successful?

·        What would you have changed?

·        Who were your biggest supporters?

·        Did you accomplish what you set out to do this year?

·        How are you feeling as 2023 comes to a close? Satisfied? Relieved? Anxious? Disappointed?

Now plan out 2024:

·        What do you want to accomplish?

·        How will you execute your goals? Create a plan of action.

·        How do you want to feel?

·        Who do you want in your circle?

Once you have your 2024 plan thought out, be ready to take action. It’s one thing to think through and plan your goals, but it’s a whole other animal to do the work. You must love the process and be ready to work. With a plan and the passion, nothing can stop you! I believe you can do it.

I couldn’t have achieved what I set out to do this year without my coaches. If you are serious about changing your life this year and need extra help, send me an email at itstartswithheartwellness@gmail.com. I am accepting three new clients for the new year.

2023 Gratitude & Reflection

Gratitude. This word comes up a lot this time of year as the holidays approach. So much so that it can become diluted and lose meaning. However, the more we express gratitude in our lives, the less negative emotions such as stress, anger and anxiety can overtake us. And we all can benefit from that.

Appreciating the people and relationships around you; the experiences you’ve had; your health; and the shelter and food you possess are all good starting points to practicing gratitude. Lately, I’ve been grateful for the opportunities I sought after but never got: The job I applied for, the party I couldn’t make, the connections that weren’t maintained. I’ve learned that missed opportunities are not failures. Not everything is meant for me and it’s OK to miss out on things. The Universe and God have other plans for me, and I have faith that what is meant for my life will continue to be laid out for me.

I challenge you to take time to be still with your thoughts and really think about what you are grateful for.

If you’re going through it right now, know that there are things in your life that you can still be grateful for. Write it down and describe in detail how that thing in your life makes you feel. Watch how you change the direction of your day when you think of what makes you grateful.

As we begin to wrap up 2023, let’s think back on what we are most appreciative of. Reflect on the good, the bad, and all of the ups and downs this year has brought us. This year, I said goodbye to my almost 97-year-old grandmother and to my 16-year career in the publishing industry. I also published my first book. I had foot surgery and sprained an ankle, but I took more control of my nutrition. I have no doubt that 2024 will be another year filled with ups and downs, speedways and speedbumps, and surprises.

Do not wait until January 1, 2024, to create your goals and resolutions. Start today.

Begin to create a map that will take you from where you are right now to where you want to be in the new year. If you need help with a 2024 roadmap, I am taking on 3 more clients right now. Contact me at https://www.startwithheartcoaching.com/get-started-today and let’s chat!